Accounting (188-204)

I smiled today as I wrote gift #203 in my One Thousand Gifts journal, seeing as how I'm one-fifth from the (first) 1,000 and have only used a few scant pages of the journal. So many more pages to fill, and I will. And then another journal and another after that. Hopefully there will be many more to fill in the remaining number of my days.

Ann writes of her days being numbered, and how the accounting hearts are the ones that keep track. I frown to think of how much I dislike math, and I'm pretty sure it hates me back.

Is that why I feel so bewildered today? Not depressed, exactly, just...down. Is it hormones, or a streak of sadness that this is the second birthday boy in two weeks I can't see on his day? Or is it a simple lack of accounting, and does this mean I need to learn to like math?

If I can count past one thousand, is that enough?

And the list grows and grows...

188. Beautiful friend held in God's arms, healed and whole and Home
189. Church bells ringing, carried on a March breeze to my bedroom window
190. Words of appreciation from a daughter's heart
191. Loving personal messages from Ann, full of grace
192. Ann's and the OTG community's sweet promise of prayer
193. Moon, beautiful moon, so very close
194. Creative-minded daughter redesigning her swimsuit
195. Clothes to mend (since I've got the sewing stuff out anyway...)
196. Moments to tell our whole church at once about One Thousand Gifts--a gift that continues to build into lives and turn eyes and hearts to Him
197. Waking in the night snuggled up to a beautiful girl-baby, little chest rising and falling in sweet rhythm, hair soft and wispy. Being a Mimi is moon-big joy.
198. An evening of hot chocolate and words woven and time spent with my beloved
199. Delighting in being faithful with the little things, just loving on the people along my path
200. The lyrics to "Take My Life and Let It Be"
201. Texting love notes back and forth with my husband
202. Pork in the crock pot simmering for a pulled-pork supper
203. Telling God He is good even when what's happening isn't
204. Middle child, cherished child, twenty today

Clarity

One of the biggest hurdles in blogging for me can be narrowing down what I want to write about in a single entry. Most of the time there is so much dashing around in my head it's hard to sort it all out. This would be one of those times.

I continue to be amazed at how God brings clarity and confirmation. Sometimes He brings the same verse or passage from different sources. Sometimes He brings a similar (or even identical) message from different people. Sometimes something I read matches a strong feeling I've had for a while; this has happened a lot since I discovered several amazing blogs through the study of One Thousand Gifts. I am grateful, too, for this discovery that has enriched my life in numerous ways.

Between gas prices and dance competitions, yesterday was the first time we were able to go to Element in about a month. I love the way God brought so many things together within the hour or so we were there. Bobby is an epic teacher, and the worship songs we did were spot on for messages that flowed perfectly with things God has been putting on my heart over the past several weeks.

This is the part where I stop for a minute and yank myself out of editorially correct mode and give some thought to writer's voice. I'm probably not supposed to actually include this, but whatever. Hopefully as time goes on I will get better at mixing the creative with the corrective and these public service announcements will be a thing of the past. It could happen.

I'm reading One Thousand Gifts again, this time more slowly and with no set pace. I enjoyed keeping pace with the Bloom Book Club discussion and videos, but now I'm going back to savor and dig deeper and see what I may have missed the first time through. I'm about halfway through chapter two, and I'm already finding things I want to underline (not surprising, since I didn't snap and start underlining the first time through until chapter four). I plan to do a bit more blogging during this second reading at Every Moment Fully Alive.

Twenty

He's 20 today, our third son, middle child, fulcrum of the family.

Mothering him is joy.

He decided to be a home birth, and almost didn't even wait for the midwife.

I was delighted that he was here, and safe, and beautiful.

I won't ever forget the sweetness in his little-boy smile.

He gave his all to everything he did, always.

And then grinned really big when it paid off.

 

He has always looked for, and found, ways to serve.

When he felt God's calling on his life toward music ministry, he grabbed on and never looked back.

We've all learned much from him, all been blessed by his love and wisdom.

We praise our God for the day he was born.

Watching him grow into such a Godly young man has been a present straight from God's hand.

And I can't even imagine what amazing things God has in store for his life.

But we do know that whatever he does, 

he will be serving God and praising Him with every breath.

Thank you, God for our Moose, my Sam,

our Trevor (prudence) Joel (God will be willing).

(however that "prudence" might look at any given moment...

with him, you can never tell)

No matter what, we know that God will always be willing

to use this boy for His glory.

Happy 20th birthday, my sweet boy.

Love, Mama