Monday, February 7, 2011

In Search of Simplicity

I noticed this morning that I have a habit of placing my hands on either side of my head, running my fingers about halfway through my hair, then resting my head there with my elbows on my desk. With a long sigh, I sometimes sit here for several minutes thinking, calming, processing, until the thought occurs that one of my teens might notice and worry that I'm upset.

If I am alone I can stay in that spot for a long time, and I have to say I actually enjoy it. It feels centered, or something. Focused. Peaceful. It's about as opposite from upset as it gets.

Only just over a month into 2011, my theme of "Simplify" is hitting home with a sharpness that only one who has known the blessing/curse of sensory over-stimulation can appreciate. If the goal is simplicity, how come what I'm feeling is so often complete mental/emotional/spiritual chaos?

No one warned me that this journey to introspection, of coming home, of discovering who I am in this world, in God, would make me wonder if I was losing my mind. No fair.

But had I known, would I have nodded that timid okay to His prompting of the theme?

I would really, really like to say yes.